Family Constellations The importance of the paternal figure in women's lives

In this podcast, you'll discover some keys for reflection on What kind of father did you have and a beautiful exercise to start healing emotional wounds from childhood. 😊

💔 If you feel you have unfinished business with your father, whether or not you have a relationship with him.

💔 You had an absent, intermittent or very controlling father.

💔 You want to get closer to dad, but something is holding you back.

💔 You see yourself once and a thousand times reflected in dad and you don't like it.

😍 Let's keep vibrating beautifully! 😍 I'll be waiting for you in the comments.

What kind of father did you have? #

If you haven't healed your bond with your father, that wound continues to act out in your adult life. And it does so silently.
📉 Failed relationships, self-sabotage, fear of success, difficulty setting boundaries, cold or controlling partners, feelings of abandonment, blockage with money or deserving.
None of this is coincidental.

🧠 What do systemic theories tell us about the bond with dad?
From Bert Hellinger's family constellations view, the father represents the connection with:
The outside world

Decision-making

Professional and economic success

Action-based self-esteem

Life direction

Joan Garriga, gestalt therapist and systemic referent, says:
"When the father is absent in the soul, the person walks through life without direction. Even if he has energy, he doesn't know where to go."
And from epigenetics, we know that unresolved traumas with the father figure can be transmitted at the cellular level, affecting not only your emotional health, but also your unconscious decisions, relationships, even your immune system (Yehuda et al., 2015).

💬 What kind of father did you have, and how did that impact you?

1. The absent father (physical or emotional):
   Generates daughters and sons with a constant emptiness, who look for love in the wrong places. Emotionally dependent relationships, fear of abandonment, need for external validation.
2. The controlling father:
   Generates submissive and obedient women, afraid to let go and take responsibility for their lives. They act like little girls looking for approval and care. Generally they look for controlling and sexist COUPLES. They tend to suffer a lot in their relationships. They must work intensively on their self-esteem and personal development. enera adults who live with fear of making mistakes, hyper-responsible, with chronic guilt and low capacity to set healthy limits.
3. The violent parent:
   It translates into bonds with aggression, fear of conflict, and in many occasions, unconscious attraction towards destructive relationships.They are usually conflictive and little responsible with their personal safety. It is very important to work on the management of limits and self-care, in addition to showing new relationship options.
4. The complacent parent (the "best friend"):
   It seems the ideal, but it blocks emotional autonomy. It generates a difficulty to choose a partner with objectivity and maturity.
   It generates the sensation that he is the ideal figure and does not allow the woman to select her partner in a healthy way. With her it would be necessary to work on cutting the energetic bond and detachment, so that she can choose her partner without false expectations.

In general, the ideal is to let go of the role of submissive girls and act responsibly as adults, taking from the father figure what is needed.

5. The father divided (by another woman, divorce, etc.):
   Generates wounds of betrayal, competition with the mother, deep resentment, and in extreme cases, psychosomatic symptoms or disconnection of the body.

💎 Why healing your relationship with your father can change your life?

✅ Benefits of healing your relationship with your father from a psychological perspective.
Healing the relationship with the father figure - whether through a therapeutic process, family constellations or deep inner work - can become a vital turning point. Although the past cannot be changed, our relationship with it can. Integrating the father figure, as he was, without idealizations or resentments, allows us to mature emotionally and live with greater inner freedom.
From psychology, healing the bond with the father brings the following benefits:
🌿 1. Improved self-esteem and self-image.
The father figure is deeply linked to validation, external recognition and a sense of deserving. Many adults carry a wound of inadequacy because they did not feel seen or validated by their father. Healing this wound allows them to stop seeking constant approval from the external world and start recognizing themselves from within.
🧠 2. Greater clarity in decision making.
The father symbolically represents the impulse towards the world, direction, action and structure. When the bond with him is distorted or filled with resentment, many people experience confusion, paralysis, fear of success or fear of making important decisions. By reconciling with the father image, we regain inner strength, direction and focus.
💼 3. Liberation of unconscious patterns in work and economics
Transgenerational psychology and family constellations have shown how the relationship with the father influences our capacity for professional success and money management. When we exclude the father or judge him harshly, we also block the energy that drives us to prosper, undertake and sustain ourselves. To heal that bond is to open ourselves to abundance with responsibility.
💗 4. Improvement in love and partner relationships
Many conflicts in our love relationships are linked to unresolved dynamics with the father. For example, difficulty in trusting, the need for approval or attraction to emotionally inaccessible people. By healing the relationship with the father, we stop repeating these patterns and learn to bond from a more adult and free place.
🧘‍♀️ 5. Integration of the inner masculine energy
From the Jungian approach, every human being carries inside a feminine part (anima) and a masculine part (animus). Healing with the father helps us to integrate our inner masculine energy: the capacity to set limits, to sustain, to act, to protect and to decide. This integration is key to developing a balanced identity.
✨ 6. Inner peace and reconciliation with your history.
Finally, one of the most profound gifts of this work is the possibility of living in peace with our history. No longer from guilt or resentment, but from a mature and compassionate understanding of the place our father occupied in our system. And in doing so, we recover parts of ourselves that were frozen in pain.

💡 How to start healing the bond with dad?
From psychogenealogy and ancestral wisdom, there are profound practices that allow us to reestablish the internal order:
🌿 Exercise 1: "I see you, Dad" - Acknowledge his existence as it was.
Goal: To break the inner silence, to stop denying or idealizing the father, and to start seeing him with the eyes of the soul.
Instructions:
Find a picture of your father (if you don't have one, imagine him or write his name on a sheet of paper).

Sit in front of it, take three deep breaths, and repeat quietly or mentally:

"I see you, Dad. Just as you are, just as you were. You were my first man. Without you, I wouldn't be here. Today I begin to see you, without judgment, with respect."

Be silent for a few minutes, letting the emotions come up without forcing them. If you need to cry or write down what you feel, do it.

🌀 This exercise activates the first step in constellation work: inclusion. To see the parent is to honor life.

💌 Exercise 2: Unsent letter - Releasing what was never said.
Goal: To express what was held back, what hurt, what needs to be released to free the heart.
Instructions:
Write a letter to your father (living or deceased, present or absent).

There is no censorship: you can express love, pain, anger, gratitude, grievances, goodbyes or forgiveness. It is YOUR space.

When you finish, you can keep it, tear it up or burn it symbolically, visualizing that you release what you no longer need to carry.

💬 Guiding phrase:
"Dad, this is what I could never tell you..."
🌱 This exercise helps to open the heart and become aware of what has been emotionally frozen.

👣 Exercise 3: "Walking towards dad" - Integration meditation.
Goal: To feel internally the movement of reconciliation, from the body and soul.
Instructions:
Place two cushions or papers on the floor: one represents you and the other your father.

Stand on yours. Feel your roots, your body. Then slowly take a step towards the cushion that represents your father.

As you take the step, repeat:

"I take this step toward you, Dad. Not to change you, but to reconcile myself to your part in me."

Be silent for a few minutes, feel your body. Be grateful for the symbolic act and end with a deep breath.

🧘‍♀️ This exercise is inspired by the body work of family constellations, and activates the inner movement of reconciliation and empowerment.

🌿 Exercise 43: Individual or Group Family Constellation
If you want a deep, energetic and transformative experience, I invite you to a personalized family constellation session with me.

🌟🙏 Healing a relationship with a parent does not involve denying past experiences, but seeking reconciliation and forgiveness. By understanding that our parents are also human beings with their own wounds and challenges, we can open our hearts to compassion and mutual understanding. Ancestral healing helps us to free ourselves from the limitations of the past and to forge a more authentic and loving connection with our parents, paving the way to a fulfilling life.

🌈💫 If you feel your relationship with your parent needs healing, I invite you to explore holistic psychology online and immerse yourself in family constellations. I offer you a holistic approach to heal emotional wounds and rebuild your relationship with your father from a deeper, more loving perspective. No matter where you are on your journey, holistic healing gives you the opportunity to free yourself and find inner peace.

✨🔑 You've come this far.... You are looking for :
✅ "How to heal if my father was absent or abusive?"
✅ "How does my father influence my love life?"
✅ "Why do I repeat patterns of abandonment or submission?"
✅ "What if I hate my father?"
✅ "How do I heal without having contact with my father?"
The answer lies in the soul.
To heal dad is not to reconcile with his person. It is reconciling with the part of you that still carries that wound.

I invite you to schedule a family constellation session with me, or leave me in the comments what kind of father you had and how you think that impacts your life today.