I am falling in love](/img/relationship-healthy.webp)
When you start a relationship, you are always your best version and maybe he/she is too, it is part of the process of idealization and falling in love; however, as you move forward that "beauty" of the beginning is losing magic and your real SELF, and his/her real SELF starts to come out. Idealization and falling in love take new forms, sometimes the change is too drastic, and that is where I recommend paying attention, being alert and knowing how to take distance in time.
But since nothing is perfect, relationship expert, Margaret Paul unveiled the 9 keys to know if your relationship with that guy will work or not in the future. And what better to know now than later!
- Cigarettes, alcohol and/or drugs If the person you're dating smokes a lot, drinks a lot or does drugs whether it's a lot or not, it may be better if you're not together. If it bothers you that he does it, it's better to assume he's going to do it all the time, rather than putting up with it and waiting patiently for him to stop and never do it.
- **Sometimes your projects or his projects can outweigh love. If you were offered a job on the other side of the world, would you give it all up to go with him without resenting him? Probably many women would do it, what about them?
- **Having children: It's very important to talk about this from the beginning, which doesn't mean talking about it on the first date. But some people just don't want to have children, or at least not in a certain amount of time. Better to know before you fall in love or not?
- **If he was ever unfaithful or even his ex with you, what assures you that he will never be unfaithful to you? Who assures you that you are the love of his life and that those stories are nothing more than his past?
- **Money. Not all men like their girlfriend to earn more money, to work or not to work. It can also be a problem if one of you likes to spend a lot of money and the other one is more thrifty. Be careful with that!
- **Lies. The basis of relationships is trust. If he/she lies to you, it is better to walk away. Yes, there are white lies, but be careful that they do not become a routine and with the type of lies. The truth always comes first!
- **It is very difficult for a person to change, so either hire someone to clean up or reconsider the relationship and come to an agreement, otherwise it is better to break up. Eventually, you'll both go crazy between one's mania and how controlled the other feels.
- **Lack of commitment It is normal to be afraid when your relationship starts to become more serious. One becomes more controlling than the other. Fear of personal or relationship failure arises. So you both need to be mutually committed to working on the relationship, because it certainly takes work!
- **Maybe at first it's not so noticeable, but if you start to feel that he doesn't listen to you and when you try to express yourself, he changes the subject because "his life is much more interesting" or he's had worse things happen to him, it's probably best that you move on from his incredibly interesting or sad life. There is no worse loneliness than when you are with someone and feel lonely.
I'm sure with your experience you have many more to share. I invite you to write them down
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